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How to Keep Your Relationships Strong While in Grad School

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Posted on December 17th, 2024

grad schoolBalancing grad school with your personal life can feel difficult. Between classes, assignments, study sessions, clinical placements, and work, it often feels like there’s little time or energy left for loved ones at the end of the day. However, keeping your relationships thriving is more important than ever during these challenging but exciting years. Whether you’re worried about growing distant from your family, drifting away from a friend, or sidelining your partner, here are some tips to help nurture your relationships while you handle higher education.

  • Embrace Flexibility

Flexibility is one of the biggest perks of learning online—many graduate programs, such as MSN PMHNP online programs offer that option. Not only can you choose to be a part-time student, but in many cases, the coursework is 100% online. This means you save time and money traveling to campus every day, leaving more to go around for your friends, family, or partner.

That 30 minutes you don’t have to commute can instead be used to spend some intentional time with your other half before the day begins. You could even form a little morning ritual, setting your intentions for the day together, discussing the morning headlines, or sharing breakfast. Time is one of the most valuable tools in building strong relationships, so use it wisely. 

With virtual programs, you’ll also get clinical placement support to help you find somewhere close to home. With a dedicated placement coordinator, you stand a better chance of finding somewhere within driving distance that causes minimal disruption to your relationships and personal time.

  • Maintain Open Communication

To help balance your personal life with your education, open communication is key. Let your partner, family, or friends know what your week (or even your month) looks like ahead of time if you can. A quick chat or a shared calendar can help loved ones understand your availability. This kind of transparency can also help you avoid misunderstandings, as everyone is on the same page about when you’ll be around and when you’ll need space to focus on your studies. 

However, just because you’ve not got anything scheduled on your calendar doesn’t give people the automatic right to your attention. Think of it more as a big-picture tool rather than an hour-by-hour breakdown. Everyone is different, and some people may find the idea of a calendar quite intrusive. In any case, sharing as much as you’re comfortable with is important, so people don’t overstep their mark.

graduate school

  • Set Boundaries 

Boundaries are essential in any relationship, but when you’re studying, they’re even more likely to come under scrutiny. Taking your education seriously means setting times to study and sticking to them, as well as finding a way to let people know about the periods you’ll be unavailable. However, it’s equally vital you set general, personal, and emotional boundaries. Grad school is a transformational period of your life, so there’s no better time to assert and communicate the limits of what you find acceptable and what you don’t. 

As a grad student, adulthood may be relatively new to you, along with the independence that comes with it. Either way, your 20s and 30s are often prime time for reconfiguring boundaries with parents and discovering new ones with partners and friends. As you spend more time away from your childhood home, and your priorities shift, it’s vital to establish boundaries to keep relationships strong.
graduationFor instance, it may be necessary to address unhealthy situations that require better boundaries, such as parents who feel entitled to know every last detail about your life, or perhaps you’re only just realizing a friendship is toxic. Maybe your partner is exhibiting controlling behavior. No matter the case, as we mature, we must stay true to ourselves and establish where we draw the line. 

Doing this will help you build healthy, rewarding relationships as life goes on. It also helps you avoid miscommunications or accidentally hurt feelings. It might seem a bit strict at first, but being clear with your boundaries can actually help make your study time more productive and your personal time more meaningful. It also helps everyone manage their expectations, leading to more beneficial, meaningful relationships overall. 

  • Prioritize Quality Over Quantity 

Doing a master’s degree is difficult in itself, but it can be made even more emotionally taxing when you’re studying nursing, or specializing in a field like psychiatry or mental health. Sometimes, you simply won’t have time to spend with your partner in the evening, or make it to a family BBQ on the weekend.

However, even small gestures can show you’re still present and committed to your relationships. Try setting aside one dedicated block of time each week (or even each month) for the people you hold dear. Whether it’s a quick coffee date with the bestie, a romantic date night in, or even a weekly phone call to your parents, every little helps you stay connected. 

  • Practice Self Care

We tend to think of maintaining relationships as being all about external actions—how we behave with our loved ones. However, the success of our connections with other people relies heavily on how we treat ourselves. If we want to be able to give love, we must be in a state where we have the capacity and energy to do so. This is why self-care is critical, especially when you’re juggling multiple responsibilities like grad school. Taking care of your own mental health and well-being helps you recharge, making it easier to stay present and positive when you’re with the people you care about. 

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Advancing your career in nursing doesn’t have to strain your relationships. These days, with the ability to learn online and part-time, fitting your studies around your life and your loved ones is possible like never before. Try to embrace the flexibility that online studying affords you, set and stick to clear boundaries, and make the most of your time with the people you’re close to. Your relationships and support system are as important as ever as you journey through higher education, and can help make your hard work worthwhile.

How to Handle Grad School When You Have Depression

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Posted on December 12th, 2024 By Isaiah Oderinde

depression

While pursuing an advanced degree is exciting, it can be daunting. Balancing grad school academic demands, career responsibilities, and personal life can be overwhelming and result in burnout, anxiety, and stress. Loneliness among students, financial stress, and heavy workload are other reasons for mental health issues like depression in grad school.

Statistics suggest that graduate students are more than six times as likely to suffer from depression than the general population. However, implementing the right coping strategies can help ensure success. Discussed below is how to handle grad school when you have depression.

Embrace online learning

Your educational setting can significantly impact your health and academic success. Opting for certified online programs, such as accelerated BSN programs online, can increase the chances of success for those going through grad school when they have depression. Online learning makes a positive difference in various ways, including:

  • Personalized learning environment: As a grad student pursuing an online degree program, you can tailor your schedule and learning environment to match your personal needs, significantly reducing stress and anxiety
  • Controlled social interactions: Online learning allows you to engage and interact with your peers in a more controlled way, which can be more inclusive and less overwhelming
  • Reduced social pressure: Opting for online degree programs reduces the severity of social pressures common in traditional schooling, including bullying, which can be significantly beneficial for grad school students with depression

Additionally, online learning offers more flexibility, which is vital for managing anxiety and stress. This allows you to establish a learning routine that accommodates your energy levels all through the day, ensuring you’re studying when most productive.

online learning grad school

Adopt effective time management strategies

Time management is crucial for maintaining your mental well-being when in graduate school. Being able to allocate your time effectively reduces stress while ensuring you aren’t overwhelmed. Effective time management you can leverage to manage grad school stress and anxiety include the following:

  • Use a calendar or planner: It can be a digital or physical device that enables you to organize your schedule, set reminders, and plan your activities. You can use a calendar or planner to map out your semester, monthly, weekly, and daily goals, plus your deadlines, events, and commitments
  • Adapt the Pomodoro technique: It’s a popular strategy for boosting focus, efficiency, and productivity. The Pomodoro technique includes breaking down your tasks into 25-minute intervals, known as Pomodoros, succeeded by five-minute breaks. Upon completing four Pomodoros, you can go on a longer 15 to 30-minute break. This reduces distractions while maximizing concentration, helping you beat procrastination, minimize stress, and manage your energy levels.

Practice mindfulness

Grad school can be a hurricane of research, deadlines, and never-ending activities. Although feeling overwhelmed is easy, incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine can provide mental clarity and relief. Breathing exercises and meditation are powerful ways to regulate emotions and minimize stress. Some of the techniques you can incorporate into your daily routine include:

  • Mindfulness meditation: Spending some time daily sitting quietly and concentrating on your breathing or chanting mantras can reduce stress and enhance mood
  • Deep breathing exercises: They activate the relaxation response responsible for calming the nervous system down and sending a signal to the brain to relax, reducing stress.

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Take breaks

Considering how demanding grad school can be, taking purposeful study breaks from studies to refresh your body and brain boosts energy levels, ability to focus, and productivity. Instead of browsing social media, find tasks that give your brain a break and let you move your body, breathe, and be creative. During your study breaks, you can:

  • Meditate
  • Take a walk
  • Stretch
  • Prepare a healthy meal
  • Talk to a friend
  • Take a nap

Seek professional assistance

Grad school can be hard on your mental well-being. Balancing academics, clinical training, and research can be overwhelming and stressful. Seeking counseling services can make it easier to handle grad school when you have depression. A counselor can help develop a strategy that can enable you to work through your problems, whether personal or academic, making it easier to manage depression. Counselors provide a safe, confidential zone where you can express yourself without the fear of being judged.

Prioritize self-care

Self-care is an effective way to relieve the signs of depression when in grad school. Taking time to do what you love and enjoy can help you relax. You can practice self-care by:

  • Eating healthy, nutritious meals
  • Getting enough sleep
  • Taking some time off your busy study schedule daily
  • Creating time for your hobbies
  • Taking time to keep up with family and friends

Start exercising

Exercising doesn’t just benefit your physical health alone, it’s excellent for your mental health, especially when dealing with depression. Sticking to a regular workout routine significantly reduces depression and anxiety by releasing feel-good hormones. It also enhances and boosts cognitive function.

Creating a workout routine that aligns with your schedule and sticking to it can help ensure consistency. It could be a lunch break walk, a morning jog, or a night yoga session. Choose exercises you enjoy to boost your chances of staying consistent. Maintaining a consistent workout routine helps not only alleviates depression but also enhances sleep quality.

Limit distractions

Getting distracted when studying is common and often results in procrastination and reduced productivity. This leads to accumulated workloads, which can be overwhelming and stressful. Eliminating or limiting distractions is key to your productivity and effective time management.

To get started with removing distractions, determine what distracts you most and find ways to avoid it. For instance, if you’re unnecessarily wasting too much time on social media, you can switch off your phone or keep it out of sight. This will make it easier for you to concentrate and complete more work.

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Join a peer support group

Talking to someone undergoing similar issues while in grad school can be comforting. Joining a support group lets you share your experiences and engage with others in a situation like yours. These student-led groups usually offer a sense of mutual support and community. Joining a peer support group in grad school offers several advantages, including:

  • Enabling you to gain different outlooks on handling school when depressed
  • Providing a safe space where you can express yourself and feel understood
  • Helping you build friendships, allowing you to feel less isolated

While going through graduate school when depressed is challenging, implementing the right strategies can be helpful. Embracing online learning, implementing effective time management techniques, practicing mindfulness, and more can help you fight depression and ensure grad school success.

How to Handle Stress in Relationships During Life Transitions

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Posted on December 9th, 2024 By Isaiah Oderinde

Stress in relationships

As you go through life, you’ll face a series of transitions, some expected while others unexpected. These transitions can affect your relationships, whether it’s a relocation or a career change. Getting through these trying times while going strong in your relationships can be challenging.

In many cases, transitions bring a mix of excitement and uncertainty. However, it is important to remain consistent in your interactions with spouses, family, and friends despite the situation. Read this guide to understand how to ensure your relationships stay strong through these periods.

What Kind of Stresses Can Affect Relationships?

Different types of stress can ruin your relationship. For instance, financial issues like massive debt or job loss can strain your relationship, leading to tension and worry. Conflicts from disagreements, varying values, or unresolved problems can also create a stressful atmosphere.

The death of a loved one can also be an extremely difficult time. Since people grieve differently, problems may arise as people try to get a grip on their emotions. Other disruptions like marriage and birth may also affect relationships. 

Understanding the exact issues at play is important for managing and dealing with the effects of stress on relationships. This helps implement effective strategies that allow each party to relax a bit and maintain a stress-free environment.

relationship stress

The Causes of Stress in Relationships

Major life transitions can change your priorities, routines, and sense of direction. These changes can affect you and your relationships. They can profoundly cause tension and strain between you and your loved ones, quickly escalating if not properly handled. Here are the causes of stress in your relationships.

1. Work and Career Changes

Changes in work and career can lead to stress, which may also affect your relationship. For instance, longer working hours, stricter deadlines, reduced physical activity, and high-pressure work environments can cause tension between partners or loved ones.

Balancing work and relationships can be tricky, especially if you’ve just taken on a new role. Interactions may ultimately lead to frustration, anxiety, and stress. Other career issues, like job loss, promotions, and increased work responsibilities, can also contribute to these issues.

Since these changes create instability and uncertainty, it may be difficult for your loved one to adjust. Career or job changes may also create financial issues.

2. Financial Issues

Financial problems commonly affect different relationships. Occurrences like inflation, job loss, and debt can contribute to these. The stress from these financial problems often affects people, impacting their interactions with their loved ones. 

Uncertainty from job losses or economic crises can create anxiety and helplessness, adding to stress in relationships. Since emotions may be heightened, there may be more conflict than usual among partners. Financial problems also trigger declines in quality of life, leading to instability.

3. Changes in Family Structure

Changes in family structure can also contribute to the stress in relationships. These changes include relocating to a new home, divorce, separation, or the arrival of a new family member. Since these changes disrupt the existing structure, tension, stress, and uncertainty may exist.

For instance, divorce or separation leads to financial strain and the feeling of loss. These events impact anyone personally, affecting their relationships with their loved ones. A baby may also create stress, as their arrival changes sleeping patterns and adds more responsibility.

Whether positive or negative, these changes in family structure impact the well-being of everyone involved. They may also prompt unhealthy habits that affect relationships. The stress generally leads to increased arguments, isolated feelings, and decreased communication.

Family relationship

4. Difficult Events and Emerging Health Concerns

If a loved one gets sick, that event may cause stress, impacting their relationships. This is because you may have relied on them for so long. It may be difficult to keep up once this routine is interrupted due to health concerns. 

It gets worse if a loved one is dealing with a chronic illness. The fear of what may happen leads to anxiety and stress and puts a burden on yourself and others. Overall, this uncertainty can be draining, impacting people’s interactions negatively.

Managing Stress in Relationships During Life Transitions

While removing stress is not always possible, you can prevent these events from affecting your relationships. Here are several strategies for handling stress effectively in your relationships during transitional stages. 

1. Develop Good Communication Habits

Developing good communication habits with your loved ones is a great way to build and manage strong, healthy relationships and avoid stress. This is especially important if you’re going through phases of transition. This involves talking respectfully and actively listening to your loved one.

Listening and communicating better in your relationship is important because it indicates that you value their thoughts and opinions. This involves giving them your attention, maintaining eye contact, and understanding their thoughts while contributing to valuable conversations. 

2. Create a Supportive Environment

Creating a supportive environment for your loved one during the transition period can be helpful. This reduces the strain on your relationship with that individual and prompts a stronger connection with them.

Creating a supportive atmosphere involves offering emotional support, listening to their feelings, and providing encouragement throughout that period. In addition, it creates opportunities for hobbies and leisure activities that can help everyone relax. Board games, family outings, and picnics are great options to consider.

3. Face the Issue Directly

It is important to face a stressful situation directly that may affect your relationship with someone. First, this includes facing any issue that may be making your transition more difficult. 

It also involves adequately dealing with the changes. For instance, if you’re switching jobs or moving to another city, familiarizing yourself with the new place or job can be helpful. You can do this by learning more about the role or trying out different restaurants in the location. 

If tensions arise, always be honest about how you feel and apologize for any mistakes you may have made. This practice can help reduce misunderstandings, create trust and respect between you and your loved ones, and better handle anxiety in your relationship.

4. Connect and Bond With Your Loved One

During transition periods, bond with your loved ones to reduce stress. Simple activities like cooking, watching movies, or playing genes together can help you connect better in your relationship. Spending quality time together can also create a sense of understanding and unity among partners. This can help you effectively navigate the period of transition.

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5. Get Professional Help

When stress levels become too high, and other techniques do not help, it may be time for professional help. Consider seeing a therapist, social worker, or counselor to guide you through your issues. 

If you’re engaging a social worker, ensure they are properly qualified, preferably with an advanced social work masters. Either way, these professionals offer helpful tips that best fit your unique situation.

6. Remain Flexible

When facing transitions, you’re likely to encounter unexpected twists, which are often challenging to navigate. You may be frustrated that not everything goes out the way you’ve planned. That is why you must remain flexible while keeping an open mind.

Discuss your plans with your loved ones and describe how you intend to adapt to the changes. Ensure that you’re on the same page about your expectations to avoid surprising them.

Navigating the stress of major life changes with a loved one can be tricky. However, you must be careful during this period to ensure your relationship does not suffer. Build good communication habits, create a supportive environment, face the issues head-on, remain flexible, and connect with them better. If problems persist, get professional help.

Essential Tips When Adapting To Life With a Physical Disability

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Posted on December 6th, 2024

Friends with physical diability

It’s fair to say no one chooses to live their life with a physical disability. Unfortunately, experiencing a major life change, like having to rely on a wheelchair or other mobility aids, can happen to everyone. The most common reasons are illness and accidents; in all cases, you’re liable to feel your life is over.

The good news is that truly it’s not. According to the latest statistics, nearly seven million Americans use assistive devices, such as wheelchairs, mobility scooters, walkers, etc. Regardless of the nature of your disability, it’s possible to adapt and live a full life.

Here are some ways to make the most of every opportunity you come across.

Get Counseling

Living with a debilitating disease is hard, especially when you know you’ll gradually lose your mobility. However, this does give you more time to prepare mentally and physically. During this time, regular counseling sessions will help you accept the future and create a plan to make the most of it.

Mentally, it can be significantly more challenging when you suddenly lose the use of your legs, go blind or deaf, or experience some other major physical change. You won’t have time to adjust to the idea and can easily see your life as being over. This is when it is vital to seek counseling. Sharing your emotions and fears will help you process them and decide on the way forward.

Counseling is essential if you want to make the most of your life with a physical disability.

Therapy for Disabled

Seek Compensation

You may be the type of person that likes to see the glass half full (or overflowing) and doesn’t want to get bogged down in litigating the situation. However, if you have been injured or developed a disability following an accident or negligence, you may be entitled to compensation.

The money you get will help you purchase all the extras you need in life, which will help you with your current situation (e.g., including a wheelchair, ramps at home, and other adaptations). Compensation can be sought to make your life and the lives of your loved ones easier.

Look at it this way: if you found a loved one was developing bedsores in their nursing home, you would take the matter up with the management. Regardless of their response, you would want your loved one to have the best care possible and move them into a different home. That all costs money.

You probably wouldn’t think twice about contacting an experienced attorney who is used to dealing with disability-related cases. Such expertise is valuable in securing compensation for life-changing injuries/disabilities resulting from negligence. Lawyers/attorneys in this field will ensure you receive the funds that’ll allow you to adapt and thrive. 

Plus, more often than not, the compensation you receive is fair, which is all the more reason to act on it.

Choose Your Own Adventure

Once you’ve taken care of your mindset and finances, it’s time to look to the future and decide what you want to do with your life. Your disability doesn’t define you or limit your dreams – it just needs a new approach. It’s the unfamiliarity that’s frustrating; at least until it becomes familiar, and that requires both time and effort.

Anything is possible; just look at Carly Pearson completing the 100-kilometer Camino de Santiago in Spain. Or Richard Simpson, registered blind since 2019, who went to conquer the 800-kilometer Camino Francés unassisted (just with a white cane) in early 2023.

Regardless of whether you’re living with a prosthetic limb or hearing impairment (or any other disability), all you have to do is decide what adventure you want; it’ll give you back your sense of purpose. In addition, it should also be fun. Your life’s not over; it has simply changed.

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Set Yourself Small Goals

To achieve your adventure, you’re going to need to set yourself some goals. It starts with getting comfortable with the chair. However, potentially the most important goal that every wheelchair user should set is to regularly lift weights.

If you’re going to propel yourself with your arms, you’ll want them to be as strong and flexible as possible.

It doesn’t happen overnight. Set yourself a schedule and as many mini-goals as you want. Every mini-goal should be relatively easy to achieve, moving you toward your overall goal. This will ensure you’re ready to undertake your chosen adventure.

You should recognize that it takes time to achieve the fitness and skill set you desire. Perseverance is essential; the end result will be worth it.

Accept Help

There are plenty of tech devices that can help you make the most of your new life. Equally, people will want to help you. It’s okay to accept their help.

You wouldn’t think twice about helping someone up a flight of steep stairs if they needed it, even if they seemed otherwise able-bodied. See offers for help with your disability in the same light, it will make your life easier and doesn’t detract from the person you have become. Similarly, spending time with family, friends, and community groups can play a major part in keeping you happy. Embrace these connections, and they’ll remind you of what’s important – you’re not alone. 

disabled man

It’ll take some time to get used to living with a physical disability, but it doesn’t mean you’ll never be happy or productive again. Despite the number of people with disabilities, it’s fair to say many places are not designed to accommodate them. It can be frustrating when you arrive somewhere and find the facilities aren’t any good for a wheelchair or any other aid you might be using.

This is where your preparation steps in. By not giving in to frustration or being negative, you’ll be able to find a solution to any issue. With the right mindset, tools, and support, you can thrive and achieve all your goals. In short, you can bend the world to fit your needs, even when you’re now living with a disability.

Trying for a Baby: How to Talk With Your Partner about Kids

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Posted on November 25th, 2024

couples trying for a baby

Taking the next step with your partner is always exciting. Whether you’re moving in together, getting engaged, or putting a label on your relationship, it shows you’re committed and want to consider your future together. 

One of the biggest next steps to take with your partner is to have kids. Not all happy couples will have kids, but many couples decide to start a family together after at least one serious conversation. How can you make sure the conversation is productive and positive? How do you know when the time is right to ask your partner about getting pregnant?

Consult With a Doctor

A physician consultation for both partners is strongly recommended before trying to conceive. Many health or fertility conditions may present with no symptoms and can affect your family’s ability to conceive or carry a pregnancy successfully.

A physician can also improve your family’s chances of conceiving through fertility medications, treatments, and lifestyle change recommendations. You or your partner will also need to cease any oral contraceptives, if applicable, and ensure they are completely out of your system once you start trying for a baby. Some contraceptives may cause adverse effects in some people, such as Depo Provera’s link to brain tumors in certain patients.

trying for a kid at the doctors

 A doctor’s visit can give your family a clean bill of health and ensure there are no roadblocks that can interfere with your timeline. You can head to the doctor as a couple or individually, before or after your conversation, but it’s an important step of the process.

Get the Timing Right

Starting a serious conversation about any subject with your partner when they’ve had a bad day, are in a bad mood, or are busy with other tasks can be counterproductive. They may not be able to listen or engage in productive conversation fully. 

Choose a time that is best for both of you, not just one of you. A day off from work or a free evening may be a good choice. You can also schedule a miniature date night just for the conversation to ensure the timing and environment are right.

Choose a Calm Environment

You and your partner’s moods aren’t the only factors to consider when choosing the best time to discuss kids. You’ll want to choose the right environment, too. You’ll want to be physically together, if possible, to avoid any phone signal issues or miscommunication. There shouldn’t be a ton of background noise or important occasions happening simultaneously. You may want to be alone instead of in a public place unless the area is quiet, somewhat private, and appropriate for the conversation.

Don’t Just Talk, Listen

You likely have many passions, thoughts, and opinions regarding parenting and your potential timeline. However, your partner is half of the relationship and will do half of the parenting as well. The key to great communication includes good listening skills. 

You’ll need to create appropriate pauses in your speech to listen well. Understand the concerns and preferences your partner brings to the table. If one of you will be getting pregnant, you may want to heed their concerns and timeline with more priority, as their health and goals will be directly impacted sooner.

Discuss Future Goals

Your immediate opinions and preferences are important, but so is the future. What will your long-term goals for your relationship, career, and parenthood look like? What will you want to have accomplished in all parts of life in six months, one year, five years, and ten years? If you or your partner want to climb the corporate ladder or travel the world, how will children fit into the equation? Consider all your goals and preferences before deciding.

Couples having a conversation

Prepare for Immediate Changes

You may think you have at least nine months to prepare for a child (unless adopting), but some lifestyle changes will need to happen immediately. To protect you and your child’s health, the pregnant person will need to stop drinking all alcohol or using any non-prescription drugs. 

Hormonal changes from pregnancy or the cessation of birth control can cause mood swings, cravings, migraines, and other disrupting symptoms. You’ll likely need to stop spending as much money on amenities and entertainment to save for a baby. In your conversation, make sure you’re both ready for these changes.

Select a Timeline

If you both agree to start trying for a baby, when will you get started—immediately? During the next fertility window? Or will you wait and delay having a baby for a year or two? When discussing parenting goals and plans, you should choose a timeline that works well for everyone. You should know beforehand what your preferences are so you can have a productive conversation.

Prepare for Conflicting Viewpoints

In your head, the conversation will likely go smoothly and perfectly. However, you’re both different people that may have different ambitions or timelines in mind. The key to a productive conversation is listening to understand each other instead of listening to reply.

You may need to compromise on certain conditions. No one should force you into something you’re not ready for yet, but you may need to be slightly flexible. Be honest, but don’t be rigid.

Couple therapy about kids

Consider a Therapist

Tough conversations are difficult for a reason. Not everyone practices productive discussions. It can be tricky to know how to resolve a conflict or disagreement when it comes to having kids. A therapist you both like and approve of can help mediate or resolve disputes when having a discussion. Consider therapy sessions to arrive at a choice that works well for both of you.

Conclusion

Planning to grow your family is a major decision that involves many lifestyle changes, not just for you but also for your partner. Healthy communication involves a stress-free environment, good moods, and excellent listening skills. With good conflict resolution strategies, you can weather any storm with your partner and show your future child what it takes to have healthy relationships.

Family Science 101: What It Is and Why It Matters

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Posted on October 16th, 2024

Family scienceSometimes, family is all we have. Nobody knows you like your parents, grandparents, or siblings, as they’ve shaped the way you are today, for better and worse. They make up an important cornerstone of our society, yet the study of families and their dynamics has not always been formalized.

Family Science as a field emerged to provide an evidence-based approach focused on relationships to better understand how family systems work. This social science discipline can be a useful tool to look at how the nuclear family has changed over time.

For example, women used to be stay-at-home mothers, but now they’re often as equally involved in the workplace as their male counterparts. In part, this is due to increased accessibility to tertiary education and shifting social dynamics that allow women to engage in specialized careers from law at top-tier schools to nursing through nursing degrees online.

This article will explore what family science is, have a look at its historical development, and talk about why it is an important lens to view the world through in the modern era.

What is Family Science?

Family science is an interdisciplinary field, mainly discussed through a social science lens, that focuses on the study of families and close interpersonal relationships. A number of different aspects are part of the discipline: marriage, parenting, family dynamics, communication patterns, and how external factors like culture and economics affect family life. Essentially, family science aims to understand how families operate, especially in the face of challenges, and how the strengths and weaknesses of families in different situations can inform preventive action for others. The field has a massive scope, bringing in aspects of sociology, psychology, public health, and even economics, as the reality of the family unit is that it is complicated and must be informed by as much information and as many perspectives as possible.

The History of Family Science

Researchers like Sigmund Freud and Emile Durkheim were the first to formally explore the roles and functions of families within the fields of sociology and psychology. Durkheim viewed the family as a fundamental social institution that was a key part of keeping the world around us cohesive and running smoothly. Freud, on the other hand, was more focused on how family changes us psychologically, with a particular interest in how early childhood experiences impact the development of our personality later in life.

The first formal course in family-related study emerged just before the Second World War in 1938 at the University of Chicago, indicating growing recognition of the importance of family studies. Post-WWII gave rise to the nuclear family model as a response to the economic instability of the early 20th century in the United States. Returned soldiers were encouraged to start families in closely defined units so as to stimulate the economy and prevent economic situations that would lead to a repeat of The Great Depression.

In the 1950s and 60s, family science programs started to spring up around different American universities, with many focused on understanding marriage, family dynamics, and how these affected growing young minds. The discipline continued to evolve in the latter half of the 20th century, shifting as women gained more rights, beginning with Ronald Reagan signing a bill in 1969 that allowed a married person to seek divorce without the consent of their spouse.

Suddenly, there did not have to be a precedent for women to leave marriages they were not happy in, granting much-deserved independence and signaling a massive win for the feminist movement. As families evolved, the nuclear family was no longer de-facto: single-parent families, blended families, and same-sex parent families all began to emerge leading into the 21st century.

family science

Why does Family Science Matter?

Some disciplines are focused purely on academic pursuits, but family science has real-world implications that have the power to affect change for many people and can massively contribute to the sustainability and well-being of a society.

First of all, there are family relationships to consider. Can you think of a time when your parents didn’t understand you as a teenager? It’s something that many of us experience, and with formal studies that look at communication strategies and conflict resolution, it doesn’t have to end in tears or a screaming match. Families are all about working together, and family science can help strengthen these relationships by providing real strategies that work to build the bond you have with those you care about most.

Looking more broadly, family science can be a great tool to inform public policy. Evidence-based insights can be used by policymakers to design programs to support the development of a healthy society. For example, child welfare and parental leave guidelines can be difficult to write without studies to refer to, so family science can play a valuable role in formalizing details which are often hidden.

HAPPY FAMILIES

Finally, family science can give us insight into how familial structures and dynamics vary with culture. Our globalized society is more diverse than ever, and cross-cultural interactions are part of everyday life. As a result, understanding more about parenting styles, marriage, and elder care from people of different cultures can help with cultural sensitivity and celebration, and perhaps inform how we can understand neglected aspects of familial care in our own cultures. Diversity represents an opportunity to learn from one another, and the formalization and universality of this learning is what makes family science so useful.

Family science seems like a simple field from its name, but it is anything but. In order to provide a deep understanding of the complex dynamics of families, this area of study has to dive into many different sociological aspects of what makes up a family.

From its early roots in sociology and psychology, it has evolved into a unique and complex area of its own, all to address the changing needs of families in a world that continues to evolve and surprise. Modern life can be challenging, but with the insights provided from family science, we can improve life at home one step at a time.

When Aging Parents Need Help

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Posted on October 15th, 2024

As we age, performing normal daily activities can become increasingly challenging. Folks in the sandwich generation often discover that their elderly parents require assistance with routine tasks like meal preparation, medication management, and healthcare decisions.

Unfortunately, seniors frequently don’t ask for help, and family members may not immediately recognize when it is needed. It can be difficult to discern when to assist your aging parents and how to provide that support. Here are steps to take when aging parents need help.

When Aging Parents Need Help

Discuss Elderly Parent Care With a Loved One

No one wants to lose control over their life. Be sure to involve your parents or loved ones in planning their care as much as possible. Ask what assistance they expect, what compromises they are willing to make, and what matters most to them. This approach ensures they view you as someone who genuinely has their best interests at heart, rather than someone imposing changes on their life.

Remember that your parents might initially dismiss the topic and minimize their challenges; be ready for multiple discussions. Prepare by thinking of concrete issues you can point to and maintaining a calm demeanor.

Get Helpers Involved Early

Caring for aging parents is a major responsibility. It becomes increasingly difficult as they grow older. Their needs typically increase over time, making caregiving more demanding. Waiting for a crisis makes it difficult to determine what is needed, how frequently, and who should provide it. Additionally, making the right decisions during an emergency is extremely challenging.

To prevent this, involve the entire family from the start when planning care, as it should be a collective effort. This might include offering respite care at specific times, contributing to a fund for professional in-home care, or arranging for housekeeping services. You can also seek senior nursing services, where trained caregivers can provide specialized care for your elderly parents.

When Aging Parents Need Help

Ensure the Home is Safe and Accessible

Falls or injuries can significantly impact seniors, making safety a crucial focus in home care for the elderly. Adding grab bars, securing rugs, and enhancing lighting are effective measures to minimize the risk of an accident.

In some cases, hiring a contractor may be necessary for structural changes. Tasks like widening doorways for wheelchair access or installing a stairlift can be complicated and demand professional skills. These modifications enhance safety and enable seniors to move safely within their homes.

Evaluate Your Parents’ Requirements

Take a moment to list what your parents need assistance with. They might require help with medical care, mobility, or personal care like bathing and continence. A live-in carer could assist with nutrition and companionship if you live far away. Alternatively, they might need support with grocery shopping or prescription pickups.

After evaluating their needs, determine how much they can manage independently and whether you can assist. If frequent visits aren’t possible, consider arranging for a caregiver to visit your parents a few times a week or stay with them full-time. Whatever you decide, ensure your parents are comfortable with the choice.

When Aging Parents Need Help

Keep an Eye on the Situation

When you observe changes, monitor the situation closely. This is particularly important if you notice your parent acting recklessly, neglecting themselves, or risking their safety. In such cases, it’s in their best interest for you to intervene, and you may need to be more assertive. This often occurs when a parent is facing cognitive challenges.

Individuals with Alzheimer’s or other dementias might not realize their abilities have altered and may try to continue with their usual routines, even when it’s unsafe. Memory loss and poor judgment can make even simple daily tasks risky. At that point, it’s important for you to step in, even if they resist.

Conclusion

Determining whether your aging parent requires assistance can be challenging, as well as figuring out the appropriate steps to take. Seniors often resist changes to maintain their independence. However, if your intuition indicates they need more care, you’ve likely observed signs suggesting they need extra support.

Understanding The Gottman Method: An Overview for Couples

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Posted on September 2nd, 2024

Gottman method for healthy relationships

Technically called the Gottman method for healthy relationships, this system represents the culmination of John Gottman’s life work and a partnership with his wife, Julie Gottman.

Gottman’s Early Work

Over the course of his academic career, Gottman became interested in relationships, marriage, and divorce. In 1986, Gottman opened what was dubbed the ‘love lab’ to investigate the science of relationships. Some of the remarkable research conducted in this lab includes a longitudinal study that could predict the likelihood of divorce with over 90% accuracy using the tools Gottman and others had developed, like the ratio of positive to negative SPAFF codes, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt, and Stonewalling), physiology, the rating dial, and an interview they devised called the Oral History Interview.

As you can imagine, the results of these studies and their highly accurate predictions became incredibly well known, but Gottman was not finished. In 1996, John and his wife Julie Gottman founded the Gottman Institute to help train clinicians in their methods and help people have healthy relationships. 

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Gottman came up with a simple analogy to better describe the negative communication styles that, according to his research, can predict the end of a relationship, called the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, referring to the four behaviors that are most destructive to a relationship.

  • Criticism. The Gottman method for healthy relationships views criticism as an attack on your partner’s character rather than addressing specific behaviors. Unlike a complaint, which focuses on particular issues, criticism is an ad hominem attack that undermines your partner’s entire being. For example, saying, “I was worried when you were late and didn’t call. I thought we agreed to notify each other,” targets a specific behavior. In contrast, criticism would be, “You never care about how your actions affect others. You’re selfish and always think of yourself.” Persistent criticism can lead to feelings of rejection and hurt, creating a pattern that intensifies over time and opens the door to more damaging relational issues.
  • Contempt.  The second horseman looks at how the use of sarcasm, mocking, name calling, and aspects of body language like eye rolling undermine any relationship. Contempt goes beyond criticism because the contemptuous person assumes moral superiority, making the other person feel less-than. An example could be belittling a partner for resting after work by accusing them of being lazy and pathetic–in doing so; you are directly attacking their personality. Contempt is highly damaging, and Gottman even found that contemptuous of each other are more likely to suffer from infectious illness and is the strongest predictor of divorce. It stems from long-standing negative thoughts and must be addressed and eliminated for a relationship to survive.
  • Defensiveness. Defensiveness is when you make excuses or play the victim instead of taking responsibility. For example, if asked why you didn’t do something, you might say, “I was too busy. Why didn’t you do it?” This response shifts the blame and dismisses your partner’s concerns. Instead, a better approach is to admit your mistake and show understanding. Defensiveness usually makes conflicts worse, as it prevents healthy communication and keeps problems unresolved.
  • Stonewalling. Stonewalling happens when someone withdraws from a conversation, stops responding, and avoids dealing with issues, often as a reaction to feeling overwhelmed by negativity. This can include behaviors like tuning out, acting busy, or distracting themselves. While it might feel like an escape, stonewalling usually becomes a harmful habit that’s hard to break. If you catch yourself stonewalling, pause the discussion and ask for a break to calm down. Spend 20 minutes doing something soothing, like taking a walk, and then return to the conversation when you’re ready to engage constructively.

Gottman method for healthy relationships

The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work

The Gottman method for healthy relationships is comprised of seven key principles: 

  1. Building Love Maps. Gottman’s research has repeatedly posited the idea that couples must come from a place of understanding and that being emotionally educated about their partner’s world is the best way to build a basis of understanding.  The easiest way to do this in an organized format is by using one of the many exercises like love map questionnaires that both you and your partner can complete with or without a therapist. Activities like this with well-designed questions prompt a far better understanding of your partner’s world. 
  2. Share Fondness and Admiration. A key factor Gottman identified that results in divorce or contributes to negative feelings in relationships is a simple lack of respect. The act of sharing fondness and admiration can counteract this by reinforcing positive feelings and mutual appreciation. Regularly expressing gratitude, admiration, and respect for your partner helps build a strong emotional connection and fosters a positive atmosphere. Small gestures like compliments or kind words can go a long way in maintaining respect and deepening the bond between partners, ultimately supporting a healthier, more resilient relationship.
  3. Fostering Positive Interactions. A lot of life is how you look at it. The act of fostering a positive perspective and seeing the best in each other is emphasized in the Gottman Method. This principle encourages couples to see the best in each other and engage in positive interactions that strengthen their bond.
  4. Turning Towards Each Other Instead of Away. Perhaps the easiest way to improve any relationship is to use what Gottman calls “bids” for attention. These bids for emotional connection can be small things like asking a partner, “What have you been up to?” or “How do I look?” These simple questions prompt your partner to turn their attention toward you instead of away. 
  5. Learning to Manage Conflict. Arguments where someone feels like they must win are not good for marriages. Gottman promotes methods for managing conflicts that teach you how to let go of the need to always be right or to “win” in a relationship. But in a relationship, if one partner is “winning,” then both are actually losing. That’s why it’s so important to learn to accept your partner’s influence and work together.
  6. Making Life Dreams Come True. One of the most beautiful things about companionship is having someone who will encourage you and help you achieve your goals and dreams in life. This can look like supporting your partner in going back to school to get an additional qualification or encouraging them to take up a hobby they have always wanted to try.
  7. Creating Shared Meaning. Every couple knows at least some of what their shared interests are… and which interests aren’t. The very act of partnering with someone is creating a commonality. Gottman studied the strength of rituals and found that even simple things like spending time with your partner at the end of the day or going out for coffee stimulate connection. 

Gottman method for healthy relationships

Conclusion

The Gottman method for healthy relationships is a popular and well-researched approach to couples counseling (though it’s not the only one). It’s taught widely in professional programs, from traditional marriage and family therapy degrees to programs offering an online Masters in Mental Health Counseling

This overview just touches on some of the basics and provides some ideas to consider for improving your relationship. If you’re looking for more help with your relationship, feel free to contact us today for more ideas and support.