Posted on October 16th, 2024 By Isaiah Oderinde
Sometimes, family is all we have. Nobody knows you like your parents, grandparents, or siblings, as they’ve shaped the way you are today, for better and worse. They make up an important cornerstone of our […]
Read More.....Posted on October 15th, 2024 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
As we age, performing normal daily activities can become increasingly challenging. Folks in the sandwich generation often discover that their elderly parents require assistance with routine tasks like meal preparation, medication management, and healthcare decisions. […]
Read More.....Posted on October 2nd, 2024 By Isaiah Oderinde
Imagine a world where every child grows up feeling safe, loved, and nurtured. Unfortunately, for millions of children, this ideal is far from reality. Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are traumatic events that occur before the […]
Read More.....Posted on September 2nd, 2024 By Isaiah Oderinde
Technically called the Gottman method for healthy relationships, this system represents the culmination of John Gottman’s life work and a partnership with his wife, Julie Gottman. Gottman’s Early Work Over the course of his academic […]
Read More.....Posted on May 8th, 2023 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
If you are in the unfortunate position of suspecting your partner of infidelity, you are probably hugely bothered by the uncertainty. You may have good reason to believe something is up but aren’t able to […]
Read More.....Posted on May 3rd, 2023 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Any traumatic event a person experiences in a relationship can change how they feel or think about certain things. Being lied to by a romantic partner or getting your heart broken by your family’s words […]
Read More.....Posted on April 3rd, 2023 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
While stress and anxiety are natural parts of the human condition, certain traumas or neurological dispositions can cause some people to struggle with these feelings beyond what is normal. And it seems like a lot […]
Read More.....Posted on February 9th, 2023 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Relationships are hard, there’s no doubt about it. Many people find themselves asking, “how do I know if a relationship is right for me?” Most adults have been through at least one relationship in their […]
Read More.....Posted on January 4th, 2023 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
It’s crazy. You thought you knew your partner. You thought the relationship was in a decent place. Sure, you have your fights from time to time. But this? How could they have cheated on you? […]
Read More.....Posted on December 6th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
If your partner is causing conflict and strain in your relationship, it might seem as if they need therapy to fix whatever’s going on for them so you can have the relationship you’re hoping for […]
Read More.....Posted on October 24th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
In a recent post we opened up the topic of divorce and what some of the reasons might be to consider it. In this post we’ll consider what the consequences of divorce could be. As […]
Read More.....Posted on September 5th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
The question of whether to end a marriage and seek a divorce is one of the hardest questions a person will ever have to face. It can be extremely difficult to weigh the pain you […]
Read More.....Posted on August 1st, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Substance abuse is a major behavioral and mental health challenge for any person to face. And there is a whole separate set of challenges that their spouse or partner faces. People struggling with addiction need […]
Read More.....Posted on June 2nd, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
You cheated on your partner. You feel terrible. Between the guilt, the fear of discovery, the anger at yourself, and the rest of the crazy feelings, you don’t want to go on with the secret. […]
Read More.....Posted on May 5th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
If you’ve discovered that your partner has been having an affair, you may feel like your whole world has been rocked; your illusions have been shattered; your emotional life has been devastated. It is a heavy blow to bear, and for many people it spells the end of the relationship or marriage.
One of the hardest questions a person asks themselves when they find out about their partner’s infidelity is, “can he cheat and still love me?”
Read More.....Posted on April 11th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Let’s look at how you can be supportive to a partner with erectile dysfunction:
1. Take yourself out of it
2. Get Informed
3. Ask Him What You Can Do
4. Talk About It
5. Encourage Him to Seek Professional Help
6. Engage in No-Pressure Physical Contact
7. Try Sex Anyway, and Have a Backup Plan
8. Don’t Give Up
Posted on March 7th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Let’s take a look at the options in front of you for helping your depressed partner. Please remember, though, that you are not responsible for your partner’s mental illness, and you cannot make it go away. The best you can do is try to help. If things don’t get better, it’s not your fault. Like anything else in life, all you can do is try your best; you cannot make their problem go away by force of will, by nice gestures, or anything else.
Read More.....Posted on February 7th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
How can you know if you and your partner are compatible? Read this post to find out what you need to know about choosing a partner for life.
Read More.....Posted on January 6th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Before you buy something, you probably want to know whether it works. Fair question. You don’t want to buy an electric ab stimulator if it’s not going to work to tone you down to a […]
Read More.....Posted on December 7th, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
When discussing the Five Love Languages with people, every now and then someone poses the following challenge: why do I have to learn to give in the way my partner receives? Why can’t they learn […]
Read More.....Posted on July 14th, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
One of the most commonly visited pages on this website is, perhaps unexpectedly, the blog post from 2017 about the Love Language of “Acts of Service.” It seems people want to know not only what […]
Read More.....Posted on July 6th, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
There is a classic joke that advises newlyweds to put a penny in a jar every time they have sex in the first year of marriage, and then take a penny out every time after […]
Read More.....Posted on June 7th, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Divorce stinks. Even when it’s the best option, it’s still a bad option. And this is doubly so when there are kids involved. (Actually, that’s probably an understatement. A divorce with no children is painful; […]
Read More.....Posted on May 5th, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
At the end of the day, the decision whether to tell your family is up to you. It is wise to consider the pros and cons before making such a choice. Pros include family support and helpful outside perspectives. Cons include the ramifications for the future of your relationship, and the possibility of getting “help” you don’t want, including pressure and judgment, from your loved on.
Read More.....Posted on April 6th, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Okay, so you blew it. You stepped outside your relationship and had an affair. And you feel terrible about it. Now what? Do you tell your partner what happened? Move on and hope they never […]
Read More.....Posted on January 26th, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
False. Well, that was easy, right? Okay, it’s a little more complicated than that. Life is not black and white. So let’s understand what we’re looking at here. For the purposes of this post I […]
Read More.....Posted on December 22nd, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
In a recent post we discussed how to listen in a way that improves communication and reduces arguments and fights. In this post we’ll talk about the other side of the equation, that is, how […]
Read More.....Posted on November 19th, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
The holidays this year will be different than ever before. COVID considerations will have to play into every decision we make about our plans. Are you willing to get into an airplane, or will you […]
Read More.....Posted on November 11th, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Do you ever feel frustrated that you’re trying to communicate something to your partner and they’re just not hearing you? Do you try to get your point across but find yourself sucked into arguments over […]
Read More.....Posted on October 5th, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
When two people share a child in common, the relationship between the two of them is hard to sever entirely. Certainly when the children are young there is a lot of physical care that goes […]
Read More.....Posted on September 2nd, 2020 By Amalia Philips
Our everyday way of living as we know it is disappearing. We are distracted and thus lose connection to others as well as to our own heart. Most of us were taught that busyness and […]
Read More.....Posted on August 11th, 2020 By Alicia Collins
From the current health crisis to the unstable job market, life is pretty overwhelming these days. In fact, CNBC reports that 55% of Americans are more stressed now than they were at the beginning of the year. […]
Read More.....Posted on July 22nd, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Infidelity is as old as the institutions it violates. Many, many people throughout history have been hurt by a partner’s choice to step outside the boundaries of their relationship. Understandably, many betrayed partners are plagues […]
Read More.....Posted on June 26th, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Have you thought about going for marriage counseling, but can’t figure out how to bring it up with your spouse? Or maybe you’ve brought it up with them, but they haven’t been interested? This is […]
Read More.....Posted on May 25th, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
I frequently get calls from people who are unhappy in their marriage and are looking for some professional help, but their spouse just isn’t interested. I want to address some of the most common objections […]
Read More.....Posted on May 4th, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
If you are an avid reader of this blog, you already know that the three most important words in a marriage are not “I was wrong” – they’re actually “help me understand.” (Check out the […]
Read More.....Posted on March 26th, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
These are definitely challenging times. COVID-19 has us cooped up in a serious way, and many of us are dealing with any number of other problems, including employment, schooling, and possibly health. Your marriage is […]
Read More.....Posted on March 2nd, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
If you’re really old school, you may be thinking that the title of this post refers to the quaint, genuine, and meaningful “I love you.” If you’re a little more modern, perhaps you’ve heard that […]
Read More.....Posted on January 15th, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Family conflict is a part of life. There is no family without some level of discord and disagreement. And most families survive intact despite it. However, in some families the level of conflict is elevated […]
Read More.....Posted on October 29th, 2019 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
People who struggle with anger management problems often feel like they are not in control when their anger gets the best of them. Have you ever felt like you go “from 0 to 100 in […]
Read More.....Posted on July 22nd, 2019 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
In our last post I offered some ideas on how parents can go about reconnecting with adult children who have become distant and disconnected. In this post I’d like to talk a bit more about […]
Read More.....Posted on June 20th, 2019 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
You spent decades of your life raising your children. You poured your love, time, effort, and money into giving them the best life you could. Sure, you made mistakes along the way, but you tried […]
Read More.....Posted on May 30th, 2019 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
One of the most read posts on this blog is where I talk about Is It Okay for Married People to Watch Porn? Recently a commenter asked the following question: What about marriage counselors that […]
Read More.....Posted on May 13th, 2019 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
There’s been conflict in your family for some time now, and you’re ready to finally get some professional help with it. Strong personalities within a family can make it very hard to change the system […]
Read More.....Posted on April 15th, 2019 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Is your relationship struggling, and couples therapy didn’t help? What else can you do about it? One answer is – try couples counseling again. Here’s why.
Read More.....Posted on February 19th, 2019 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
How often do normal couples have sex? As frequently or infrequently as they want. This question is erroneously based on the idea that there is some number, or even a range, that we have to […]
Read More.....Posted on November 19th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
As the holiday season bears down on us, many folks find their anxiety levels spiking in anticipation of yet another stressful family holiday.
Read More.....Posted on October 29th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Crushed. Devastated. Hopeless. These are some of the emotions you may be experiencing if you have recently discovered that your partner has been having an affair.
Read More.....Posted on October 8th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Recently I had the great pleasure of going to an escape room for a bit of family fun. If you’re not familiar,
Read More.....Posted on September 5th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Can it really be so simple? Is there really a Single Most Important key to relationships? Yes and no. Obviously there is no magic spell for fixing relationship problems or keep relationships vibrant and connected […]
Read More.....Posted on July 19th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Most people have never been to therapy before and are understandably a bit nervous about what the first therapy session going to be like. If you’ve gotten up the courage to make that first appointment, […]
Read More.....Posted on June 25th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
The end of a relationship is never easy, especially if you’ve been together for years. This is true even if you know the relationship was going sour, or was unhealthy to begin with. The truth […]
Read More.....Posted on June 6th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
If you’ve never been to relationship counseling before, the whole thing might seem mysterious, confusing, and downright frightening. The truth is it’s really not as bad as you think it is. The representations of therapy […]
Read More.....Posted on February 20th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Texting is a very wonderful thing. It allows us to send quick ideas and comments to our friends and families without having to catch each other at the right time. It’s great for adding to […]
Read More.....Posted on January 30th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Although there are arguably some pros to pornography viewing as a part of your sex life, there are a number of cons that must be considered as well.
Read More.....Posted on January 10th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
If you are considering seeing a couples counselor/marriage therapist to address a problem in your relationship, there are a few things it’s vital for you to know before you jump in. 1. Be prepared to […]
Read More.....Posted on December 27th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
In these days of constant change and mobility, long-distance relationships are increasingly common and necessary as people take jobs and pursue life goals that move them about the globe. There’s no question that a long-distance […]
Read More.....Posted on December 11th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
All relationships have ups and downs. Some seem to have more downs than others. A relationship that’s on the rocks can often be fixed with commitment on the part of both partners and with professional […]
Read More.....Posted on November 21st, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Office politics are such a well-known phenomenon that entire television series have been successfully spawned from it. As most everyone knows, you are bound to run into difficult people at work. Fortunately, in most cases […]
Read More.....Posted on October 26th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Following the recent office shooting not too far from Baltimore, many people have been feeling increased nervousness and tension in their offices. Having trouble with a coworker or employer is a common experience; but who […]
Read More.....Posted on October 17th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Recently I had a conversation with a client about patience. He was working on trying to be more patient, especially as it related to the people in his life, and found himself losing his cool […]
Read More.....Posted on September 18th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Anger is one of the major destroyers of relationships. People can say and do things when they are angry that are offensive, hurtful, even downright mean. But anger is a normal part of the human […]
Read More.....Posted on August 30th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
If you’ve been feeling down a lot lately, always tired, not in the mood to do much of anything, you may be suffering from depression. Depression is different from just feeling sad, and it is a […]
Read More.....Posted on August 23rd, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
This is a guest post by a colleague of mine in Chicago, Josh Hetherington of the Northside Center for Relationship Counseling. Mindfulness Lately I’ve been reconnecting with some Buddhist writing. It underscores a lot of […]
Read More.....Posted on August 10th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Arguments are a natural part of any relationship. No two people will agree on everything all the time. Disagreements are bound to happen. Slight offenses are inevitable. But how do you deal with them in […]
Read More.....Posted on July 13th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Many people believe that infidelity unavoidably spells the end of a relationship. However, the truth is that many relationships survive the injury of an affair, and in fact many get much better in the aftermath. […]
Read More.....Posted on June 29th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Check out this review of our practice picked up by Inside Business Weekly! You’ll see why we’re considered the place for the best couples therapy and how we can help you achieve the relationship you’re […]
Read More.....Posted on May 8th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
All too frequently, the couples I see in my office for marriage counseling/couples therapy are at the end of their rope. There has been trouble in the relationship for a long time; months, years, or […]
Read More.....Posted on April 24th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Okay, so, we’ve talked a lot about the different Love Languages. But how do you know which is yours? Below we’ll discuss a couple of ways you can try to determine which language fits you […]
Read More.....Posted on March 20th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
The last of the Five Love Languages is Physical Touch. This one is in some ways very easy and in some ways very hard. It’s very easy because it’s pretty clear what we’re referring to […]
Read More.....Posted on March 6th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
The fourth of the Five Love Languages® is called Acts of Service. For some people, actions indeed speak louder than words. Of course, just as with Words of Affirmation you can’t speak nicely while neglecting […]
Read More.....Posted on February 21st, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
The third Love Language is Receiving Gifts. This one is easy to grasp, but it sometimes gets a bad rap because to some people it smacks of materialism. In fact, a person whose Love Language […]
Read More.....Posted on February 9th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
In the last post I described the love language of Words of Affirmation. The second language is called Quality Time, and you probably have a fair idea what that’s about without needing much a definition. […]
Read More.....Posted on January 24th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Words of Affirmation is the first of the love languages described in Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages system. For people whose primary love language is Words of Affirmation, it’s what you say that counts. This […]
Read More.....Posted on January 9th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
The Five Love Languages® is a great tool for improving relationships, whether you’re at the beginning of a new relationship or you’ve been married for decades. It is a very simple and understandable method of […]
Read More.....Posted on December 7th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Following up on our last post, let’s talk a bit about what possible red flags to look out for when searching for a therapist in Baltimore or anywhere else. Unfortunately, as we mentioned last time, […]
Read More.....Posted on October 5th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Ever find yourself in a situation where a fight is brewing and you know it’s coming but don’t know how to avoid it? Check out this link for a post explaining just that. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-to-stop-fight-with-your-partner-before-it-starts-1004164
Read More.....Posted on August 24th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
We frequently get calls for family therapy, specifically regarding troubled mother/daughter relationships. These include young parents with school- or preschool-aged children, middle-aged women with their teenage/young adult daughters, and even up to elderly women who […]
Read More.....Posted on July 27th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
If you’ve just discovered your boyfriend or husband watching porn online – perhaps extensively – you may be feeling shock, anger, disappointment, betrayal, and more. You also may be confused about what this means for […]
Read More.....Posted on July 12th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Check out this recent article for which I was interviewed by ABC staff: http://www.abc2news.com/bachelor/millennial-love-one-right-swipe-at-a-time It discusses modern dating and how technology has made a significant change in the dating landscape. There’s no question that Tinder, […]
Read More.....Posted on June 27th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
I’ve noticed that a lot of requests for help that come through e-mail, text, or sites like Thumbtack.com list “save my marriage” as the reason for seeking help. So I thought I’d let you know […]
Read More.....Posted on June 16th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Bariatric surgery and self-esteem are obviously intricately intertwined with each other. Most people who suffer from obesity naturally struggle with their self-esteem, especially in a culture such as ours where beauty and thinness have been […]
Read More.....Posted on May 31st, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
When someone has an affair and is discovered or comes clean on their own, their instinct is often to soften the blow and/or minimize the damage, especially if they still care about their partner and […]
Read More.....Posted on May 12th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Parents-in-law have been known to cause grief in many a marriage, but they can also be of tremendous help to it. In this article I touch on just a few important notes for how parents […]
Read More.....Posted on April 18th, 2016 By Caitlin Chana Hill
Why a post on therapy for women? Is therapy somehow different for women than for men? Do they face different issues? The answer is yes and no. Certainly the problems we help clients with are […]
Read More.....Posted on March 31st, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
It is not uncommon for us to field calls from people looking to get help for someone other than themselves. One common category of such callers is the family member of someone with borderline personality […]
Read More.....Posted on March 21st, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
So what’s the connection between bariatric surgery and therapy? If you’ve gotten the operation done or are considering it, you are probably aware that you have to do a psychological evaluation before going through with […]
Read More.....Posted on February 22nd, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
I have a new catchphrase: To make your marriage last, make your marriage first. I’m pretty sure I invented it, and Google seems to agree. (So does Bing!) So you heard it here first, folks. […]
Read More.....Posted on February 13th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Many people seek out counseling to help them answer the nagging question: “Why can’t I find the right person for me?” Being single can be a real drag, especially as you get older and watch […]
Read More.....Posted on February 4th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Check out our latest article about getting your marriage back into shape, on Marriage.com! This article highlights a positive-psychology based approach to making changes for the better in your marriage. A Novel Way to Fix […]
Read More.....Posted on January 11th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Continuing on in our exploration of why a good marriage is so vital to your childrearing endeavors, here is reason #3: 3. They’ll do as you do. Jimmy’s parents were called into school, where Jimmy […]
Read More.....Posted on December 10th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
A common dynamic that I encounter in doing marriage counseling is that one partner will want to convince the other of some aspect of him/herself and get frustrated/angry/hopeless when they can’t seem to do so. […]
Read More.....Posted on November 25th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
With Thanksgiving around the corner, a post on gratitude seems apropos. Gratitude occupies an important position in the positive psychology literature. Positive psychology is a branch of psychology that focuses not on pulling people out […]
Read More.....Posted on October 19th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
In the short video below, renowned relationships researcher John Gottman discusses recent findings on the science of trust. Significantly, he explains that betrayal is not the opposite of trust, and that one of the key […]
Read More.....Posted on October 8th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
I recently worked with a couple that came in with a serious break in their relationship. They were pretty despairing and didn’t know how to handle the problem. I give them a lot of credit […]
Read More.....Posted on October 1st, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
I’m not saying I recommend this, but it certainly is one avenue a person could take… www.cnn.com/2015/09/24/europe/cheating-husband-billboard-sign Looking for information on this issue that’s a little more helpful? Take a look at our services for […]
Read More.....Posted on September 24th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
In the wake of the Ashley Madison leak, I got a lot of questions from friends and colleagues about the extent of the infidelity problem in America (at least, for those who consider it a […]
Read More.....Posted on September 1st, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Hooray! We’re listed as the #1 marriage and family counselor in Baltimore on Thumbtack.com! https://www.thumbtack.com/md/baltimore/marriage-and-family-counselors/ Contact us today for help with all kinds of relationship issues, including: dating marriage infidelity/cheating breakups trust communication conflict resolution […]
Read More.....Posted on August 23rd, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
At the Baltimore Therapy Center we frequently get calls that begin like this: “Hi, I’m looking for marriage counseling. Do you take Blue Cross Blue Shield?” While the short answer is yes, there’s unfortunately a […]
Read More.....Posted on August 6th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Check out our latest article on the Maryland Addiction Recovery Center‘s guest blog! http://www.marylandaddictionrecovery.com/boundaries-inside-and-out
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